What You Bring To A Relationship

If you’re looking to get introspective about the type of person you are, there are a variety of online personality tests you can use to learn more about yourself. Whether you prefer something cute and playful to determine your cookie personality, or something more in-depth like the Myers-Briggs test, they all provide some great insight into who we are.

Another lesser known but extremely informative personality test is called the Enneagram. According to the official site it “fosters great understanding through a universal language that transcends gender, religion, nationality and culture.” The Enneagram offers a look at how we develop on a psychological, spiritual and somatic level — and when we fully understand these aspects of ourselves, it can allow us to pursue romantic relationships with people that we are truly compatible with.

What is the Enneagram?

The Enneagram is a nine-pointed chart that represents nine different and distinct personalities and can help individuals identify their hidden strengths. Everyone is considered to be one specific type, however it is likely that you’ll find yourself relating to traits belonging to other personalities. Many authors and researchers of the Enneagram believe that we are born with one of the nine types dominating our personality, and through our development and external influence we begin to show the traits of other types.

Much like Myers-Briggs types or zodiac signs, there are Enneagram personality types that you are more compatible with in romantic relationships. You can take the Enneagram personality test to determine which is likely your dominant personality, or read below to see which of the nine sounds most like you.  

Types of Personalities

Type One – The Perfectionist

This personality is also commonly referred to as “the reformer,” and is described as individuals who are self-controlled, responsible and improvement-oriented. While people who fall into this category try to lead by example, they can also be very hard on themselves and are especially sensitive to receiving criticism.

Type Two – The Helper

Enneagram Twos are people who have nurturing qualities — they are caring and helpful, and hold their relationships with others in high value. Twos tend to put the needs of others ahead of their own, praise the people around them and often find it challenging to turn their attention inwards and focus on themselves.

Type Three – The Achiever

The achiever is someone that is goal-oriented and works hard to attain what they want in life. If you encounter a Three in the workplace, you’ll find them to be extremely driven, competitive and focused, making them a great person to have on your team. While their competitiveness may be a turnoff to some, Threes are also great at communication and learn quickly from their mistakes.

Type Four – The Individualist

Type Four is also referred to as the “intense creative,” and they have a tendency to find the beauty in everything and are romantics at heart. While Fours can be described as unique and authentic, they can also be extremely emotional and occasionally overly sensitive. Despite this sensitivity, Fours are very focused and purpose-driven, and you’ll find that you can turn to a Four for emotional guidance and advice.

Type Five – The Investigator

Those who are Fives would be described by others as intense, rational and curious. They have a desire to learn about the world around them and are also known for their ability to detach emotionally. Remaining independent and having privacy is important to Fives, which sometimes comes off as negative attributes to other types.

Type Six – The Loyalist

Also known as the loyal skeptic, Sixes are responsible and trustworthy people. Negatively, these individuals can allow themselves to worry too much, become suspicious easily and often get anxious over situations outside their control. However, Sixes can use their perception to anticipate issues and find solutions swiftly. This is someone whose trust you do not want to break once you earn it.

Type Seven – The Enthusiast

You’ll rarely find Sevens sitting at home on the weekends — this personality is social and adventurous, and values a sense of freedom. They look at life as an adventure, and will lead into any spontaneous opportunity with both feet. And while they tend to be the life of the party, Sevens are still quite intelligent — they have street smarts and can think quickly and practically.

Type Eight – The Challenger

There are several ways to define type eight — the challenger, controller, leader, protector — all of which mean that these people are confident, powerful and strong. Eights will avoid showing any signs of vulnerability, and often feel the need to be in control of any situation. They can often come off as a little intense, but tend to be some of the best leaders.

Type Nine – The Peacemaker

Type Nines are supportive, agreeable and have a tendency to be accommodating. They try to avoid conflicts and will take extra steps to ensure there is a peaceful existence in their life. While being a peacemaker certainly has its benefits, Nines may push away their own feelings or thoughts to avoid uncomfortable confrontation.

Compatibility Types

While The Enneagram Institute believes that any type could make for a compatible pair and that “no pairing of types is particularly blessed and no pairing is particularly doomed,” discovering your dominant personality type can help you determine which other type you work best with. Type compatibility theories state that any two combinations can be happy together if they have high levels of self awareness. We’ve put together a guide on strengths and weaknesses that each type brings to their relationship, in addition to which other type might make your best match.

While the Enneagram test may be a bit intimidating at first — the results include the nine different dominant personality types in addition to 207 subtypes! — you’ll find that it is often very accurate. Once you learn your type and who you could be compatible with, try actively applying it into your relationships and unique Valentine’s Day ideas! You may find that both your romantic and platonic relationships improve with your newfound knowledge of how you relate and read others. You can also try out different date nights once you determine your type and can make the most of your time spent together.

Sources

The Enneagram Institute | Eclectic Energies | The Enneagram At Work | Bustle | Integrative 9 | Enneagram Worldwide | Your Tango